One Liner Best Humor Fathers Day Jokes

On this Father’s Day use these Humor Fathers Day Jokes and make the occasion memorable by sending & sharing it with your dad or you may use these quotes on presents or Fathers Day Funny Cards. A touch of humor goes a long way in making relationships work and when that relationship is a father-child one, laughter can be a great stress booster.

For this purpose we’ve compiled the list of short clean jokes and quotes for daddy, One Liner Fathers Day Funny Jokes or Status for Kids or Children, Famous Happy Fathers Day Funny Quotes and Sayings From Wife to Husband, Rude & Hilarious Cute Fathers Day Quotes and Sayings for Funny Fathers Day Greetings, Short Dad Jokes to Make her laugh, Cute Comedy Quotations for Dad, Brother, Grandfather & Loving Uncle etc. Happy Fathers Day

Hilarious Fathers Day Funny Quotes And Sayings

Funny Fathers Day Jokes


1) You’ll be a great father one day accidentally.


2) Father is the God who stays back at home, not at heaven.


3) It is a wise child that knows his own father. ~ Homer Simpson


4) Guns don’t kill people, DAD’s with pretty daughters kill people.


5) Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive. ~ Rodney Dangerfield


6) My dream for Father’s Day is not to be a father for that day. ~ Anonymous


7) You spent less time for planning to be a father than I’ve spent planning your Father’s Day.


8) My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic. ~  Bob Odenkirk


9) Dad, you taught me all those instructional things that can be easily found on YouTube videos.


10) The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children. ~ Clarence Darrow


11) Father, whom I murdered every night but one, That one, when your death murdered me. ~ Howard Moss


12) A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~ Enid Bagnold


13) I talk and talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. ~ Mario Cuomo


14) Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. ~ Ray Romano


15) Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. ~  Jack Handey


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Funny Dad Quotes | One Liner Best Fathers Day Jokes

Funny Dad Quotes

Funny Dad Quotes


16) Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.


17) “I’ll call you later!” “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”


18) Dad!“ Are you alright dad?”’“ Actually, technically, I’m half left and half right.”


19) When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, „With my hands.“


20) What is the father’s day for a little child? It’s just like another Mother’s day to him, the only difference, however, is that you don’t need to spend so much.


21) Once a son asked for another glass full of water to his father, the father said that he already has given 10 glasses of water. The son replied that “Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!”


22) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.


23) “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”


24) “Even though I’m proud my dad invented the rear-view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.”


25) “Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.”


26) When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, Daddy, will you take me to the zoo? He answered, If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you. -Jerry Lewis


27) Fathers Day, when you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools. -David Letterman


28) The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. -Bertrand Russe


29) I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. -Rodney Dangerfield


30) Happy Fathers Day, Dad! I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Of course, nobody’s offered me anything. -Melanie White


31) “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”


32) “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”


33) “My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.”


34) My father doesn’t care about being king of the castle as long as he’s king of the remote. – Melanie White


35) Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.


36) “My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then Spin me around till I fell asleep Then up the stairs he would carry me and I knew for sure I was loved.” —Luther Vandross


37) “Sometimes I wonder that when I am going to grow old, will I look like you because you look really strange. Happy Father’s Day


38) “Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.” –  Homer Simpson


39) Dear Dad, for Father’s Day I hope you enjoy this nice present that I bought with your money. Happy Father’s Day!


40) Thank you, Dad, for killing all of those spiders. You are a real hero. Happy Father’s Day!


41) I thought long and hard about the perfect Father’s Day gift for you and then I realized that the perfect gift is me, a child who is charming, witty, and gorgeous. Happy Father’s Day!


42) Dear Dad, thanks for never abandoning our family, especially when things were getting crazy, especially when I was the cause of most of the craziness. Happy Father’s Day!


43) Thank you, Dad, for carrying me on your shoulders and letting me stand on your feet while we danced. Happy Father’s Day!


44) My Dad has the best son in the world. Happy Father’s Day to the world’s best dad from the world’s best son!


Also, Visit–  Dad Sayings From Son

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